My Rants

I decided to take a moment and dedicate it to you
This moment is filled with thoughts of you
And thoughts of all you have done for me.

I am going to take this moment every time I can
You are worth more moments then I can give
However I will do my best to give all the moments I can.

I decided to take a moment and dedicate it to you
This moment is filled with love and compassion
And all the good feelings you bring to me.

I am going to share this moment with everyone
So that they too can see how special you are
This moment is dedicated to you just for being you.

Love you

This may come as a shock to some of you, I have never really learned how to take care of myself. I do not mean in a hygiene manner either. I am very good at hygiene. I mean in a looking out for my health manner. I do not like going to see the doctor or the dentist and I most definitely do not like hospitals. This is something that is deeply set in my subconscious mind and not something that is easily changed.

I came down with something about 2 weeks ago and it pestered me in my sinuses on one side of my head and it was not a big problem. It was a bit odd in the fact that I am almost always congested due to allergies and when this set in I could actually breath through my nose with no effort at all. It was nice in a way. Well about four days ago my sinuses went back to normal and I thought ok I am over whatever it was. Then the next day my sinuses on the other side of my head started feeling funny. I figured oh well nothing to it a few days and all will be well. Yesterday the pressure in my one sinus got so great that it caused my teeth below it to hurt my face ached near my nose and my ear felt like it was being poked with a red hot branding iron.

My wife suggested I go see a doctor. Well this set off all kinds of bells and whistles and none of them good ones. I went into defensive mode. White lab coats and stethoscope to me are as bad as water is to the wicked witch of the west. Well I had to take my wife to the doctors for her allergy shots today and she expected me to go in to see the doctor. LOL I much would have preferred to have taken a spoon and carved out the sinus myself than to face this person. I gave her a bit of a hard time about it all. We discussed it a bit after it was all said and done. She made me realize that seeing a doctor is an act of self care and not an act of masochism.

To my wife: Thank you. I Love You. I am sorry I gave you such a hard time over such a trivial thing.

I will probably have a hard time going to see a doctor or a dentist in the future, but at least I know that they are not the issue and that I do have some trigger points left to work on. I move ever onward even if it at times seems to be in a backward direction. Sometimes when you are looking at where you were you need to be traveling backwards to actually be going forward.